I wanna know who I belong to...

Everytime something starts to go right in my life i fuck it up. I dont know if i intentionally sabotage myself or if it just happens cos i dont think things through properly. Whatever the reason is, i hate it. I wish i could kill these demons inside of me. I.wish i didnt wear my heart on my sleeve. I wish i wasnt fucked in the head. I wish i wasnt so scared and emotional all the time. As the tears stream down my face all i wish is to be someone else. No one will ever want to stay with me for the long term because of how i am inside. I wish i could turn my heart of even. Maybe that would be the best solution. But most of all, i wish i couldnt feel. Because then i would never feel these overwhelming feelibgs again : inadequacy, guilt, lifeless, heartache, angst, worry, empathy, devastation, selfishness, hurt, pain... And i would never cry again. Maybe i would be a better person because i wouldnt be a burden on others. - amor e morte