And I miss you, love...

Missing someone is not about how long it's been since you've seen them last or the amount of time since you last talked.... It's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.... I miss him so much. But I know we will be together again soon. - Amor e morte.

And I should contemplate this change, to ease the pain...

Sometimes we can hurt so much that it seems like we are not living in this world. I can walk around and be so consumed in my pain that it feels like I'm not even living. That everything around me is some far away place that I couldn't escape to even if I tried. And it gets to the point where everything just feels so hard....that it seems like it would be much easier to drift away in this painful state. To let it entirely encapsulate and devour me. Until there is nothing left. And in this state I would be free because in this world of pain I would not hurt anymore. Life would end. And the pain would end with it. I'm so tired of fighting...what's so wrong with giving in... What's the point in living when I am dead inside. - amor e morte

all the same...

You dont sit and hold me. You dont really know me. - amor e morte

I swim, but I wish I'd never learned...

...the water's too polluted with germs. I'm moving on. - Amor e morte

It scares the hell outta me...and the end is all I can see...

How are we supposed to move forward when the past stops us from living in the present? How am I supposed to move on when all do is hope that one day things will work out? And why do I keep holding on when he has let go so many times? This is Life. This is Struggle. This is Love. This is War. - Amor e morte.

My soul will have to wait...

I know I shouldn't wait for him. I've already waited for too long. He won't come back to me...but I can't help but pathetically hope. I have no desire to be with anyone else. I think I have found the one that I am meant to be with, so why does it have to be so hard? But there will come the time when I get tired of waiting, when I hurt just too much to have hope anymore...but will he care? Will he still be around? Will he suddenly wake up one day and realise he has made a mistake? I think that one day (in the very distant future) he will realise that. But by then it will be too late. It will be his turn to chase me.