Look inside, there never was a start...

It's over. Why can't he at least have the decency and show me some god damned respect and tell me this. It's the least I deserve. Instead, I have to keep prodding and prodding...asking the same direct questions, to only get an answer back that completely avoids answering the question.
The last thing I said (via text) was 'if you don't want me you need to let me know'. No reply. I tried to call him. No answer.
How did this seemingly wonderful, kind and mature guy turn into such a monster overnight?
What did I do to deserve any of this? Nothing. I've been nothing but kind and caring and loving. And giving. Oh, I've been so god damned giving. And received nothing in return... but a mindfuck and broken heart. And lies. God...so many lies. And I bought them all. I'm so stupid. Why did he tell me he loved me when he clearly doesn't? He even told me last night he loved me, but then proceeded to ignore me.
Every single guy I meet says how amazing I am. And then continues to feed me more lies until I'm sucked in. They say they never want to leave me. That they can't believe guys have hurt me so much in the past...and that they are different. They are the same. At least all the ones I meet are anyway. They like hurting me. And they are such cowards when they won't even admit that they have. They don't want to appear like the bad guy...so they will ignore me until I've had enough and put an end to it. So that they are not the bad guy. You are the fucking bad guy. The very worst.
I think there comes a time in everyones life when we have just had enough. We can't hold on to these things any longer. It's that time for me now. I've got to let go. Not just of him, but of my heart and desire for love altogether. I can't let myself ever come to this place again. I would rather live in solitude than feel this way ever again. I'm done.