Everybody leaves me, everybody's gone...

I sit here alone, Welling in my tears, My eyes are drained; And I'm worn beyond my years. I've given so much, There's nothing left to take; Steal all of my joys, And leave my heart to ache. I am here again, Like so many times before, I can't find my smile; It's sunk beneath the floor. Where is the sun, Where is my light; What is living? Because this can't be life. EMC 2010 (amor e morte)

Angels stabbing me inside...

Every time I open up my heart it is trampled on. It appears that people sit and wait for me to open up and give them a little bit of my heart of soul...and then they tear each of them out and devour them whole. Once this is done, my heart and soul are spat back out and forced back down my throat. So they are there for someone else to have a turn at this 'game'. I would rather not have them at all. Amor e morte.

On days like this we find it so hard to push ourselves up and out of bed...

I just don't think that things are meant to work out for me. I am meant to live and die alone. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't think I can ever be cured. I don't think I can ever be loved. Why do I keep on taking chances when I know what the outcomes will be? I always end up alone. Amor e morte.

And as I read "I'll die alone"; I know she's aching...

I miss him so much it's unbearable. I want to go over there and be with him. I wish he wanted that too. What if I never see him again? Will this get any easier. It hurts. I love him but cannot be with him. I don't know what to do anymore. But I know that I can't move on...not while I know we may still end up together. Amor e morte