The loneliest place in the world...

Whoever said heartbreak isn't as bad as is sounds lied. Or maybe they've just never experienced it. I wish the feeling were only physical as though i had chest pains. But it's so much more. I can't eat. I have a permanent headache. My chest feels heavy. I feel like the darkest of rainclouds. But I think I am out of tears. But perhaps the worst part is the seemless waste of time I spent for over a yr trying to sort myself out. I did do that...but then something happened..maybe I just got too scared of it not working out that I then forced my fears to happen. All I know is that he is gone and that I'm lonelier than I've ever been. I can't help but hope that he will wait for me...but deep down I guess I know he won't. That's probably what hurts the most. i don't think I am meant to be loved. - Amor e Morte.