But if you want me, got to let me know... Cos it's so hard to let you go...

There's someone out there... He is miles and miles away...it almost seems like we were together a lifetime ago. Although things never technically ended between us...this feels like I have been put on 'hold' in a phonecall that I never wanted to make. And eventually, I know the line will go dead. And maybe I will never be able to reach him again, maybe he will never want to be reached again... But right now, the only thing that is keeping me going is the hope that we shall be together once more. I know we both want that...we talk about it. But he can't commit to this....not when there is so much uncertainty...not when he is on the other side of the world. Having the time of his life...without me. But I love him. I don't think I've ever felt this way before. And because I love him, I am happy for him that he is having a great time. If he met someone else, it would kill me. But I would deal with it...because that's what love is. I don't know if he feels the same...I don't think that he does. But I can hope. And I would wait for him for as long as it took...as long as he wanted me to. At least I know that he cares for me, and that's enough for me right now. The thought of never being together again...well, I can't even bear that. So for now I will just live in my bubble of hope...I will live in my fantasy world where we are a year from now and in a blissful love. Where nothing else matters except us. If only... - Amor e morte