What am I to do with all this silence...

It's been a week since I have heard from him. I'm so anxious. I can't stop thinking about how I wonder what he is doing...who he is with...who he is doing... I don't want to think about it anymore. I just want to fastforward to a happier place. I don't want to rewind...there is only pain there. And then I have to relive right now because it will be the future. I want him back with me...I want to go and be with him. I don't know if he wants that too. My memories seem like a distant dream...and the reality of the present feels like a nightmare. He is the only one that makes me feel alive. I've never had such an amazing connection with anyone...and I'm sure he feels it too. Or else he wouldn't still be saying the things he said after not seeing me for 5 months....5 months down...6 to go. I don't know how I will survive...it's taking it's toll on me. And the worst part is that there's nothing I can do....and that there is just so much uncertainty... -Amor e morte.