Something within me doesn't want to live...but I'm too afraid to die. I lay here dreaming of the solace that I would find in death. I would find peace because I wouldn't need to live in this mind anymore. If I rot in the ground with no afterlife, that would be perfection. I don't want to live in another life, why would I when I don't even want to live in this one?
I want to hurt myself. To make the pain go away. I want to escape...run far away to a place where I am not myself; where nobody knows me; and where I'm not all alone. I want to die. Because I am already dead inside.
I try so hard to stay afloat...I'm a good person. I'm such a nice, caring, kind, trustworthy and genuine person. I'm always there for people, but I keep giving and giving only to receive nothing back. And I can't take it anymore. Each breath becomes harder and harder to take...my chest is literally tight as I let my pain consume me.
No one appreciates me...at least not in the way that I would like them to. My love is taken and I am stepped on again and again. What is the point in living a life without love? I know I'm quite good looking, sweet, caring, considerate, kind...I'd give an arm and a leg to the one that I love. But it's not returned. Instead I'm trampled on some more and left in the gutter to rot away. Discarded like a worthless piece of trash.
I can't take it anymore. It's just too much. Living is such a burden. Please just let me die tonight. -Amore e morte.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Please god let me die tonight...
Posted by Rememberthegirl at 5:16 AM
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